


Just Us

by SmallTimeWriter



Series: Derek and Addison [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Addison - Freeform, F/M, Grey's Anatomy - Freeform, Hurt, Mentions Mark, Mentions Meredith, Prom, Sad, derek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallTimeWriter/pseuds/SmallTimeWriter
Summary: Just us now.
Relationships: Addison Montgomery/Derek Shepherd
Series: Derek and Addison [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186814
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Just Us

**Author's Note:**

> Just Us
> 
> Authors Note/Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, that credit is for the writers/creators.
> 
> .
> 
> Summary: Just Us Now.

Guilt.

It spread through his body like wildfire as he watched his wife drop Meredith's panties to the floor as though they had burnt her, disgust flashed across her face before she attempted to mask her expression, to conceal the emotions rolling through her body, not wishing for him to see them.

"Addison,"

He spoke her name softly, it was said with a tenderness he hadn't shown her in years.  
He reached down scooping up the panties and placing them into the trash beside him, feeling her eyes on him, following his every move.  
Part of him had done that for Meredith's dignity, but it was also so the evidence of his betrayal was not lying between him and his wife. The wife who was trying so hard to prove her love to him.  
Tears sprung to his eyes at the realization of the act he had just committed, the double standard he was holding. Who was he to judge her for something he was willing to do?  
To make him feel worse that mask she was trying so hard to uphold was slipping and he could see the devastation in her features, the hurt in her eyes.  
It only made the guilt intensify because he could identify with everything she was feeling.

He'd belittled her, shunned her and then proceeded to walk away from everything they had because of what she had done.  
He'd done that because he hadn't been able to comprehend how she could break their vows and toss out her morals, how could she betray him with someone they both loved.  
Yet he saw things differently now. He stood before her having committed the same act and now he understood. He had never set out to hurt her, just as she claimed that sleeping with Mark hadn't been to hurt him.  
Perhaps if he had actually listened to her then they wouldn't be here now.

"Addie," He felt a tiny piece of his heart break off when she flinched at the sound of his voice.

"Don't." She pleaded with him, trying to keep the tears at bay, wanting and needing to emotionally detach herself.

He could see past her facade, years of marriage allowing him to see what no one else would. She was breaking. If he could see it here, why didn't he notice in New York? "I'm sorry, it..." He couldn't claim it was a mistake. He was fully aware in the moment of what he had been doing, satisfying that need for Meredith.  
But now, looking into Addison's eyes all he saw was the moment staring back at him in the form of betrayal. So perhaps he could call it a mistake, a mistake to want someone other then his wife.

Addison was trying to regulate her breathing, she had one question and she knew if she spoke without calming herself she'd break down or cause a fight. And the very last thing she wanted was a screaming match that would draw an audience. She didn't want the entire hospital to know what had happened. "Was it revenge?" She finally questioned, trusting herself enough to speak. "To show me how much I hurt you?" Her hands trembled and she locked them together to keep them still. "If it was then you succeeded. I know how hurt you were. I now know what it is like to have your world ripped apart by the one person you trusted to love you."

Derek opened his mouth, closed it and then opened it again. "It wasn't revenge." It was all he knew to say because it was the truth.  
The intention had never been to hurt Addison and to even the score. Meredith had simply been forbidden fruit. Was sweet in the moment because he finally had her, but it left a sour after taste. "I'm sorry, Addie."

Addison turned away from him, tears finally escaping her eyes. She could not allow him to see her cry and she could not bare to witness his tears knowing it would be her weak spot and it would move her emotionally making her unable to walk away. "I have to go."

"Wait." He was quick on his feet, moving down the stairs to catch her arm at the bottom. "Addie," He gently tugged her to a stop but she didn't face him. "Let me explain."

"Like you let me explain." Her words sounded pained. "I can't do this Derek, go. Go be with Meredith." She pulled her arm from his grasp. "We don't have to continue pretending. You aren't happy and trying to fix this broken marriage is only making you more miserable."

Her words hit him like a punch to the jaw. Despite having just been with Meredith the thought of seeing her again did not sound appealing. He didn't want her. He wanted his wife, the woman he was losing. I don't..." He moved around to stand in front of her but she kept her head down looking at the ground unable to meet his eyes and he knew she was crying and the guilt only weighed more heavily. "Please don't cry, Addie." Though he knew the words were in vein. She had every right to cry. He had broken her heart.

"How can I not? You slept with the woman you love and that woman isn't me."

Derek didn't agree with what he was hearing, he didn't love Meredith despite thinking for a few moments that he did. He was simply lusting after her, wanting something he shouldn't have. Seeing Addison cry, knowing that she was about to walk out on him made his stomach drop. Feeling everything she felt when he walked out on her. "I don't love Meredith." The words were spoken with such clarity as if he was absolutely sure of it.

Addison looked up at him through her tears, studying his facial expressions. "Before I arrived in Seattle you loved her."

Derek knew that she didn't believe him and not one part of him blamed her because he had certainly been infatuated with Meredith. She symbolized what Addison wasn't but he didn't love her, how could he love someone who was the complete opposite of who he really loved. "I swear to you, Addie, I do not love Meredith. Just like you didn't love Mark." It was a low blow bringing up Mark Sloan's name but he wanted her to try to understand.

"This is different, Derek, a completely difference set of circumstances. I slept with Mark because I was lonely, you were never around and one night I simply scratched an itch. You slept with Meredith even though I was present and committed to making this relationship work. I am giving this my everything."

She didn't say was, she said am. It gave him the slightest glimmer of hope as he looked at her, the tears trailing down her cheeks, and he could feel the tears on his. They were both crying, and he didn't know what else he would say to make it right. "We are Derek and Addison. We are one. Please don't walk away." He found himself pleading with her, much like she had pleaded with him back in New York. He hadn't listened to her then, maybe she wouldn't listen to him now. "I love you."

"We used to be one, before all of the loneliness, the cheating, the hurt. This isn't us anymore." She wiped away her tears and walked over to take a seat on the plastic chairs. What was the point of crying over something she was sure she had lost long ago. "Maybe it is time to let go."

"No." He dropped to his knees in front of her, grabbing her hands in his. "No, I refused to believe that this is it for us. We don't give up, we have never given up." He squeezed her hands. "You moved out here to Seattle, Addie, where it rains all the time and your hair gets wet. You live in a trailer you hate, listen to me rattle on about fish even though it disgusts you. And you do it for me. I just need you to hold on a little longer. Let me fight for us."

"I can't." Addison sobbed. "I can't keep doing this. You punishing me for sleeping with Mark. You...this...it's the last straw, I can't take anymore."

His face filled with sorrow, as her tears fell faster and her body shook. "I'm not punishing you, Addison, I made a mistake. A mistake." He repeated the words, her words that she had said to him over and over. "I love you."

"It's over, Derek," It pained her to say it, but it had to be said. "I can't fight for this anymore."

"No," He refused to believe that this was how their story ended, especially after all these years. "We are not giving up. I know...no, I need you to know I wasn't getting even, or setting a score. It wasn't about that. But, I also believe this is our clean slate. No Mark. No Meredith. Just us, Addison. Please, if you love me, even just a little, come home. I'll fight for us. I want you to know that I will fight with every inch of me to fix this."

"I..." She looked into his eyes, the broken look staring back at her. She knew it well, because that had been her, pleading with him to not give up, to stay and he didn't.  
As cold hearted as everyone thought she was, inside she was soft, only for Derek.  
Truth being she didn't know if they could over come this, perhaps there had been to much hurt. But by not going with him and giving them a chance, she'd be him back in New York. She couldn't be him. She needed to be the person she wished she had seen that night, the person she had needed.

"Honey,"

Addison moved her head just slightly to nod. "No Mark. No Meredith. No more dragging up the past. It must go behind us, Derek, or we will never more forward."

"I promise, from this moment forward it will be just us, Addie."

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think?
> 
> I have just uploaded another three Grey's fanfic's, so please check them out and let me know what you think. :)
> 
> Much Love x


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